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The pain of being ambushed

Published: Thursday, March 15, 2012 3:47 PM CDT
I have on occasion contemplated writing a newspaper; Patti Pfeiffer's article "The Tragedy of Suicide" published in the March 6, 2012 edition of the Coppell Gazette motivates me now, enough to get this letter written.


In April of 2008 I became a survivor of suicide. This is a group that no one wants to be a member of or desires to join. I was an incredibly lucky survivor, you see, my child actually failed in his attempt to take his life. As I moved forward toward healing and a new normal, wise people told me that things would be good again, our family would regain our footing and we could bring good from the experience. I was also warned about ambushes.

The further removed from April 2008 I become the more I understand how an ambush can turn my life upside down. Take Patti Pfeiffer's article for instance. She just wanted to "vent" her frustrations and chose a most inappropriate place to do it. Since reading her article I have rethought every detail and second-guessed every decision I made at the time, and since. I try hard not to worry about my son. Sometimes it takes every thing I've got, times like now, when I've been ambushed.

A few weeks ago I was going through some papers and found a letter my mother wrote to my son when he was hospitalized after his suicide attempt. She had attended a relative's funeral and relayed how she would feel if he had died, and how thankful she was that he was alive. Ironically she is now fighting cancer. She would be repulsed by Ms. Pfeiffer's idea to extend her life. I was struck by the lack of empathy and compassion from Ms. Pfeiffer. We all need to know that others care, especially those among us suffering from mental illnesses.

Sincerely,

Sue Gassmann

Coppell



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